Sunday, 28 August 2011

Falange of Boboons

video
With a teacher like Tuckett, it looks pretty certain that OSS Swim the Thames will be selected to represent Team GB in the 2012 synchronised swimming display. The aquadynamic synchro instructress managed to develop a splendid routine with the novice team within minutes. Using stylised moves honed over an impressive career for one so young - from inspirations as diverse as sky-diving, the sex-lives of great apes and flood defences - Tuckett's team were ready to perform the move known as Thames Barrier, before effortlessly rearranging into the Falange of Bobboons by their arrival at Northmoor Lock. Onlookers were startled by their proficiency and the purity of their water-borne display. Captured on camera by onlookers, the synchronised display will dazzle you with its sheer expressiveness. The powerful Thames Barrier even managed to halt the flow of the river for some minutes, a credit to the rigid fitness regime that the team are following. Some experts have compared the team display to a hybrid meeting of the Spanish Civil War and the BBC's light entertainment department. Team member and swan wrangler, AdamknownasAndy, highlighted the poignant synchronicity between the synchro display's original nine members, creating ten channels, and its proximity to the tidal defence's nine piers downstream.

By all means try this at home: Thames Barrier, horny gorilla, left stroke, right stroke, left backstroke, right backstroke, left kick, right kick.

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